The Key was key.

About a year ago I had a dream.  I can recall the details like it was this morning that it awakened me.  I lived directly across the country from my mom.  It was a San Francisco type town, lots of hills and near a large body of water.  In my dream I'd been locked out of my car.  She had a spare key to my car and only she could help me.  I was waiting on her to give me back the use of my car.  I could've gone to her to retrieve it, but I was waiting on her to deliver the key.  There were other pieces of the dream, but the key was the bigger deal.  I remember talking with her the next day as if I were walking on eggshells.  I was listening to her with intensity, trying to figure out what power my mom had that I needed her to give me.  She'd recently begun attending a CODA group and I assumed that that was the gift she was going to grant me.  An insider's view of a codependents healing or something like that.  While I am still garnering a lot of knowledge from her in her path of self discovery and recovery, I'm thinking I got it wrong.  

I moved out of my parent's home when I was 20 and for the next 15 years I lived within 10 miles of my moms house.  The last 8 years I lived two street lights away with my hubby and our family.  I didn't know (or want to see) that I'd hurt her when I moved away last year.  It was a wound that needed healing and I knew that I couldn't 'make' her come up here to see our new home until she was ready.  So when she told me in April that she was looking forward to and planning a trip here in July, I nearly didn't believe her.  But I knew the timing was right and God was slam in the midst of it.  As I'm sitting here I can't believe how sweet my Lord is.  I'm talking He knows what my soul needs here.  He's just that awesome.  Okay, so this is my proof of how dreamy He is:  A few days before my mom's visit I began to fear that she was going to back out.  There were some real reasons that it could've happened, but God gently reminded me of the dream He'd gifted to me last fall.  And I began to see that my mom was bringing me my 'key'.  Then I knew she was coming, and I got so excited.  Our visit was incredible.  We talked and listened and I got to show her places that are precious to my family.  She got to witness my life and it was incredible.  I realized how badly I needed her to see how happy I am and how God blessed my life by bringing me up here.  Was it approval from her that I needed?  Perhaps.  Though I gotta say that I don't want to admit that at all.  I was so sad when my mom left, but overjoyed that she'd come.  So would you like to know what the key was?  I discovered that I am where I'm supposed to be and she knows it.  And so I have peace, true peace to live my new life in my new town where our God has planted me.

Shaken and stirred?

From July, 2011
I've had a lot of highs and a couple lows this week. On the top of my list of highs was the discovery that my youngest sister announced that her family is expecting a new baby in the late winter of next year. She and our other sister's children will be four months apart! So precious are these days for our family. It's incredible. Then last night my family and I went to hang out with a home group through our church. It was a great night, just fabulous. All of the people spoke of their walks with God and I can see myself growing with these people. There was a passage in Luke that I didn't get, a parable that I really wished there was a clearer breakdown of and a couple members broke it down and I came away with a clearer understanding. Just a nice moment of awareness for me that I'm always a student and occassionally a teacher.