Sunday, January 23, 2011
Was that necessary?
My feelings were hurt! God warned me early Friday morning that I was about to get my feelings hurt and Steve was going to be the one to console me. I couldn't sleep, it was awful. So I asked God if He would prevent it from happening and there was silence on the other end of the conversation. I decided that all day Friday I would mind my own business and stay indoors, even avoiding the grocery store. Not that big a deal, it was 22* outside and I wasn't feeling the vibe to play outside. I thought if God wasn't going to stop it from happening I was going to not participate. It sounded logical to me, though I know that that's not how things really work out. Well, fast forward a couple days and it happened. And it really did hurt! I figure that it had to be a doozy if God was warning me in advance. And, it was Steve who helped me to have some perspective and to be kind to this person in the coming days. Here I sit now two hours after said incident and am much calmer. I think that's just God, Steve can't get all the credit for that one. ;) But those incidents of vulnerability do stregthen my relationship with my husband. God is pretty creative. I'm sure there will be many more learnings in the coming days that I'll carry around with me and further carve my testimony with the Holy Spirit. Tonight I'm going to rest in the knowledge that my Lord really, really loves me. I dare say he adores me enough to let me get hurt and rebound into His loving spirit. So was it necessary? I guess so. And maybe tomorrow I'll be grateful that it happened.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
That was a big pothole.
My goal with this blog has been to be honest about my walk with God. So that would cover the great things about my walk with God and the struggles or mishaps. This post has been in the making for about four days. Four wild and crazy days! ;) Psalm 42:5 reads 'Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.' That scripture came to me on Monday evening. I was a mess, but didn't want to talk to God about it. I just wanted to feel sorry for myself for a little while. As I kept reading in Psalms I read chapters 42 and 43. I love Chapter 42 especially, it has special history between God and I. So it's my run to when I'm hurting. As I read I saw in Psalm 43:5, 'Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will praise him, my Savior and my God'. Still, I didn't get it. I was reading kinda numb. Well, this is why:
God gifted a home to us to rent for one year. The housing is paid for and everything. I tend to forget at times that God gave this home to us, how we found it and everything. It was like it had a blinking neon sign over it that said 'Lettie!! Steve!! LOOK HERE!!'. I have a comical relationship with God, so often I see him as very funny and charming. We are midway through our year of free housing and I'm hankering for a home to own. I can't explain it, I just have really, really wanted to own a home since we got here. Perhaps I feel like it will plant roots for us that we can't plant while renting? I'm not sure, it's just a personal thing right now. I adore our neighborhood. Again, it was selected for us by God. So this house across the street from us went on the market, literally, two weeks after we moved in. Ugg. It's been tempting me everytime I pass by, which is a few times a day at least. And we all know that that isn't God's style. To tempt us, so guess whose handy work that has been. I'm embarrassed to say that Satan has played me like a fiddle. But God had the victory so it's in the process of becoming another piece of my testimony for Jesus. (Can you see me sticking out my tongue? ;) God revealed to me at least five months ago that that isn't the home for us. He flat out said 'there will be another'. I could beat myself up for this trial for a long time, but let me keep moving. We found out this week that we could in fact purchase another home (we still own one in our home state). Imagine our joy! This was the time! Except God didn't give me peace about it, still I kept moving forward. God told me not to see the house, and I made an appointment to walk through it. Again. I talked to a mortgage broker and gave specifics and got our approx monthly payment and sent all the details to my hubby. I was so excited because we could afford it! This house is not too large, not too small with an unfinished basement. I mean I was already shopping through my Pottery Barn catalog. Now God was just being quiet. Can you imagine Him just observing me? My spirit was stressed all day yesterday, no peace whatsoever, but I attributed it to the excitement and anticipation of putting in an offer. Not the obvious. My husband comes home and after dinner we are talking about the house across the street. He says 'I want to put an offer on the house, but after praying about it today I don't think it's in our best interest. We need to stay where we are and continue to save money until the right house comes to us. And, I have peace about this.' I about died. I was so embarrassed, not because my husband had told me no, I was trying to strong arm God and I got caught. If I am continuing to be honest with you, I'll tell you that I'm not surprised I got caught or stopped. That's how much my God loves me. Enough to tell me no.
Today I'm very thankful for a praying husband and a God who is my God. I learned yesterday not to ignore Him. He doesn't like it, and He's going to have His way anyway. I love Him so much and am grateful for the walk I have with him. Potholes and all.
God gifted a home to us to rent for one year. The housing is paid for and everything. I tend to forget at times that God gave this home to us, how we found it and everything. It was like it had a blinking neon sign over it that said 'Lettie!! Steve!! LOOK HERE!!'. I have a comical relationship with God, so often I see him as very funny and charming. We are midway through our year of free housing and I'm hankering for a home to own. I can't explain it, I just have really, really wanted to own a home since we got here. Perhaps I feel like it will plant roots for us that we can't plant while renting? I'm not sure, it's just a personal thing right now. I adore our neighborhood. Again, it was selected for us by God. So this house across the street from us went on the market, literally, two weeks after we moved in. Ugg. It's been tempting me everytime I pass by, which is a few times a day at least. And we all know that that isn't God's style. To tempt us, so guess whose handy work that has been. I'm embarrassed to say that Satan has played me like a fiddle. But God had the victory so it's in the process of becoming another piece of my testimony for Jesus. (Can you see me sticking out my tongue? ;) God revealed to me at least five months ago that that isn't the home for us. He flat out said 'there will be another'. I could beat myself up for this trial for a long time, but let me keep moving. We found out this week that we could in fact purchase another home (we still own one in our home state). Imagine our joy! This was the time! Except God didn't give me peace about it, still I kept moving forward. God told me not to see the house, and I made an appointment to walk through it. Again. I talked to a mortgage broker and gave specifics and got our approx monthly payment and sent all the details to my hubby. I was so excited because we could afford it! This house is not too large, not too small with an unfinished basement. I mean I was already shopping through my Pottery Barn catalog. Now God was just being quiet. Can you imagine Him just observing me? My spirit was stressed all day yesterday, no peace whatsoever, but I attributed it to the excitement and anticipation of putting in an offer. Not the obvious. My husband comes home and after dinner we are talking about the house across the street. He says 'I want to put an offer on the house, but after praying about it today I don't think it's in our best interest. We need to stay where we are and continue to save money until the right house comes to us. And, I have peace about this.' I about died. I was so embarrassed, not because my husband had told me no, I was trying to strong arm God and I got caught. If I am continuing to be honest with you, I'll tell you that I'm not surprised I got caught or stopped. That's how much my God loves me. Enough to tell me no.
Today I'm very thankful for a praying husband and a God who is my God. I learned yesterday not to ignore Him. He doesn't like it, and He's going to have His way anyway. I love Him so much and am grateful for the walk I have with him. Potholes and all.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Christmas came early
When I was a little Lettie, my family would often have people knock on the doors in the neighborhoods trying to witness to people. I just didn't get that at the time, they were usually Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses. All I did know for sure was that we weren't to talk to them but to avoid them at all costs. This was never the case with Catholics (I was Lutheran when I was tiny and then an Assembly of God girl beginning in 3rd grade) or Methodists. I've always wondered why that was the case. What I suspect is that my parents were raised in a time when differences in people weren't celebrated, but feared. I on the other hand have an incredible curiousity about people who are different than myself. Everything from cultural celebrations to spiritual beliefs.
I've not always been the person who wanted to invite the door knockers inside of my home. At one point in my early 20's I would say 'I'm a born again Christian, okay?' Obviously I wasn't very inviting and they'd leave politely. Then something happened. I was at church one day and overheard a man telling about all he'd learned about different faiths just by asking respectful questions. I had a 'why didn't I think of that??' kind of moment and I changed. Pretty incredible, but if you know me in person it would probably make sense. So shortly after I chatted with God about this change in heart I was blessed by two young Mormon guys who came to my door one day. I was so excited I couldn't stand to wait for them to knock!! I waited on the porch for them to walk up and we talked. It was an awesome conversation where I learned the differences in our faith/walks. When they left we said we'd pray for each other. Respectfully, I told them I felt like they were missing the greatest piece of Christianity, the Holy Spirit. I explained how charming He is, how kind and patient. They weren't too interested, but to this day I pray those two young men went to home to look up what I was talking about. And if not, a seed was planted. At least a month ago I'd gone to the grocery store and when I returned my hubby said 'Oh, you missed it, some people came to the door wanting to talk about God'. I was like 'Were they Jehovah's Witnesses???' He looked at me like I was nuts and said he wasn't sure but they'd left a tract. You would've thought Christmas came early! Then he said he'd told them I'd probably love to talk with them and they could come back when they were in the area again. I kissed my hubby with joy and gratitude and waited.
Two weeks later a woman and her husband show up on my doorstep. Both children were at school and we chatted. I kept asking them about their faith trying to figure out what the differences were and I told them what I was trying to figure out. They kept trying to tell me how great their faith is, but I wasn't hearing them. I simply wanted to know what I was supposed to have feared all those years. I fully believe that I need to confront my fears with God or Satan will latch on to them. The wife left me with a little book, I'm sure you've seen them, and asked if she could return. Of course I said yes and they left but I was frustrated. Based on everything they'd said I couldn't figure out what was worth stashing the children away when they knock on doors. I decided I was going to do as much research as I could before they returned. I wanted to be prepared and knowledgeable. Can't you just hear God laughing? ;) I'd sought out information but wasn't getting any feedback, of course the doors were blocked, God just wanted me to come to Him. But I didn't. So today they came back again, it's been three weeks since we've tried to get together and something always came up. We talked for a very long time and about all kinds of things. We read the bible together and we challenged each other as to what specific scriptures were telling us. I reinterated that I wasn't changing my belief system, that it's the core of my being and I wasn't trying to change theirs, just understand it. I asked so many questions, I felt like my five year old. Then it happened. I had clarity. I heard the difference. I asked more questions and I felt bold with soldiers at my back. I knew they were there. There was no question of me backing down, I began talking about spiritual healing, prophecy and the POWER of the blood of Jesus. It was incredible. I was respectful and I'm prayerful even in this moment that these women who were raised Catholic, who know about Jesus and the trinity will go home and reflect on what came out of my mouth today. That they will seek answers to the questions that they had about me and why I'm different than them. I am on fire with a passion for them to know more about the power of God. Not just God, but all the parts of Him.
God did give me a Christmas present today. He let me know that He will equip me as I go. I can't say that this is new information to me, but something that I needed to be reminded of. He is everything that I need, I always love Him. Always. I have a spirit of gratitude and thank Him for anything and everything that comes to mind. But the level of respect I have for Him in this moment is incredible. I pray that I made Him proud.
I've not always been the person who wanted to invite the door knockers inside of my home. At one point in my early 20's I would say 'I'm a born again Christian, okay?' Obviously I wasn't very inviting and they'd leave politely. Then something happened. I was at church one day and overheard a man telling about all he'd learned about different faiths just by asking respectful questions. I had a 'why didn't I think of that??' kind of moment and I changed. Pretty incredible, but if you know me in person it would probably make sense. So shortly after I chatted with God about this change in heart I was blessed by two young Mormon guys who came to my door one day. I was so excited I couldn't stand to wait for them to knock!! I waited on the porch for them to walk up and we talked. It was an awesome conversation where I learned the differences in our faith/walks. When they left we said we'd pray for each other. Respectfully, I told them I felt like they were missing the greatest piece of Christianity, the Holy Spirit. I explained how charming He is, how kind and patient. They weren't too interested, but to this day I pray those two young men went to home to look up what I was talking about. And if not, a seed was planted. At least a month ago I'd gone to the grocery store and when I returned my hubby said 'Oh, you missed it, some people came to the door wanting to talk about God'. I was like 'Were they Jehovah's Witnesses???' He looked at me like I was nuts and said he wasn't sure but they'd left a tract. You would've thought Christmas came early! Then he said he'd told them I'd probably love to talk with them and they could come back when they were in the area again. I kissed my hubby with joy and gratitude and waited.
Two weeks later a woman and her husband show up on my doorstep. Both children were at school and we chatted. I kept asking them about their faith trying to figure out what the differences were and I told them what I was trying to figure out. They kept trying to tell me how great their faith is, but I wasn't hearing them. I simply wanted to know what I was supposed to have feared all those years. I fully believe that I need to confront my fears with God or Satan will latch on to them. The wife left me with a little book, I'm sure you've seen them, and asked if she could return. Of course I said yes and they left but I was frustrated. Based on everything they'd said I couldn't figure out what was worth stashing the children away when they knock on doors. I decided I was going to do as much research as I could before they returned. I wanted to be prepared and knowledgeable. Can't you just hear God laughing? ;) I'd sought out information but wasn't getting any feedback, of course the doors were blocked, God just wanted me to come to Him. But I didn't. So today they came back again, it's been three weeks since we've tried to get together and something always came up. We talked for a very long time and about all kinds of things. We read the bible together and we challenged each other as to what specific scriptures were telling us. I reinterated that I wasn't changing my belief system, that it's the core of my being and I wasn't trying to change theirs, just understand it. I asked so many questions, I felt like my five year old. Then it happened. I had clarity. I heard the difference. I asked more questions and I felt bold with soldiers at my back. I knew they were there. There was no question of me backing down, I began talking about spiritual healing, prophecy and the POWER of the blood of Jesus. It was incredible. I was respectful and I'm prayerful even in this moment that these women who were raised Catholic, who know about Jesus and the trinity will go home and reflect on what came out of my mouth today. That they will seek answers to the questions that they had about me and why I'm different than them. I am on fire with a passion for them to know more about the power of God. Not just God, but all the parts of Him.
God did give me a Christmas present today. He let me know that He will equip me as I go. I can't say that this is new information to me, but something that I needed to be reminded of. He is everything that I need, I always love Him. Always. I have a spirit of gratitude and thank Him for anything and everything that comes to mind. But the level of respect I have for Him in this moment is incredible. I pray that I made Him proud.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Quality Time
Today was a great day. I had to write that somewhere and ask you to be a witness to my day of joy. I had the pleasure of connecting with a few wonderful women in my life that I rarely get to talk with. And all of those conversations had God as the focus. My most favorite kind of days. If I could talk about God and the glorious things He has done in my life all day long that would be, well, Heaven. I guess I'll have to wait to experience that kind of never ending joy, but that I had a glimpse of it today simply *rocks*.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
WWF
It's been a mighty long time since I've written. I'd love to say I've been finding the cure to cancer or something profound, but truly I've been living a normal life... probably much like you. :) November was incredibly busy. I traveled or had guests every weekend that month. What may sound crazier is that I was in a blissful state. My sister and I took our daughters to NYC to do the American Girl thing. My daughter has always loved everything animal while my niece has always loved dolls and is very girly. My plan was to purchase a doll for my niece and if my daughter was interested I'd get her one, too. But she had to be really interested, not just wanted them for their pets if ya know what I mean. Well, it was quite the sight to see my girl fall in love with (drum roll, please) Felicity.
Another weekend we traveled to Philadelphia to visit a girlfriend and her daughter. It was a really, really nice day and it was difficult to leave after such a short visit. She is just one of those people that God has put in my life who is absolutely precious to me. We've been through a lot of spiritual growth together. She's one of the (literally) few people in my life that I can speak of deep spiritual matters with and in the same conversation talk about how great it would be if our husband's could listen to us like our girlfriends do.
In the midst of living some mighty great days, I've also had struggles. God has revealed to me another thing He is breaking me free from and I'm struggling with it. Even as I write that I wonder how on earth that is possible. The creator and lover of my soul wants to help me and I'm battling Him. I feel like I should be a WWF wrestler, ya know? But, to me this is a biggie. One of those relationships in my life that has defined me and I've given it too much authority in my life. I don't know what my new normal will be like when this is resolved. I know that resolution is coming, I have strong faith in that. I believe that He will finish the work He has started and that it wouldn't have been brought up if He didn't plan on changing it. I also know that He works all things out for my good. I can say without hesitation that I have the gift of faith in my walk with God.
Recently God has also been showering me with blessings. I'm pretty blown away by the enormity of how He displays His heart for me. That He loves me so much that He would allow me to truly have the desires of my heart, that no one but Him knows about. Then there's just plain out gratitude for the things that I have. For example I've got a dishwasher. A washing machine for my clothes and a dryer to dry the same clothes. It's 24* outside and my heat works very hard to keep my home comfortable. I'm really thankful for those things. Those and the tires on my truck. I'm acutely aware most of the time how helpful my tires are to me. I thank God for them all the time. That's the heart of me.
One day my friend I will share much more with great gusto all the great and kind things my Savior has done for me. The fact that He gave me the opportunity to have life everlasting with Him is incredible to me. But that He allows me to walk with Him here? Now? Seriously. I haven't the words to describe my gratitude.
Another weekend we traveled to Philadelphia to visit a girlfriend and her daughter. It was a really, really nice day and it was difficult to leave after such a short visit. She is just one of those people that God has put in my life who is absolutely precious to me. We've been through a lot of spiritual growth together. She's one of the (literally) few people in my life that I can speak of deep spiritual matters with and in the same conversation talk about how great it would be if our husband's could listen to us like our girlfriends do.
In the midst of living some mighty great days, I've also had struggles. God has revealed to me another thing He is breaking me free from and I'm struggling with it. Even as I write that I wonder how on earth that is possible. The creator and lover of my soul wants to help me and I'm battling Him. I feel like I should be a WWF wrestler, ya know? But, to me this is a biggie. One of those relationships in my life that has defined me and I've given it too much authority in my life. I don't know what my new normal will be like when this is resolved. I know that resolution is coming, I have strong faith in that. I believe that He will finish the work He has started and that it wouldn't have been brought up if He didn't plan on changing it. I also know that He works all things out for my good. I can say without hesitation that I have the gift of faith in my walk with God.
Recently God has also been showering me with blessings. I'm pretty blown away by the enormity of how He displays His heart for me. That He loves me so much that He would allow me to truly have the desires of my heart, that no one but Him knows about. Then there's just plain out gratitude for the things that I have. For example I've got a dishwasher. A washing machine for my clothes and a dryer to dry the same clothes. It's 24* outside and my heat works very hard to keep my home comfortable. I'm really thankful for those things. Those and the tires on my truck. I'm acutely aware most of the time how helpful my tires are to me. I thank God for them all the time. That's the heart of me.
One day my friend I will share much more with great gusto all the great and kind things my Savior has done for me. The fact that He gave me the opportunity to have life everlasting with Him is incredible to me. But that He allows me to walk with Him here? Now? Seriously. I haven't the words to describe my gratitude.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Procrastination
Have you ever felt like you need to purge emotionally? Often when I do it results in some incredible spiritual growth. While I never have enjoyed the physical unrest that precursors the purge, I'm thankful afterwards. I'm kinda in that mode right now. I'm not comfortable at all. I want to get on the phone with anyone who could distract me from the task at hand. I want to go outside and wash my car in the rain, I think I'm making my point. While I'd love to type all of it out here on this screen that feels like my friend, I know that they author of my journey is waiting for me to come and have some coffee with Him.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Two biggies in my life
Shooooooeeeey!!! I'm a pretty simple person. I love to hear people laugh and share the joys in their lives. I think since moving I've been shell shocked. Only now am I coming back around to who I am, and I have missed her so very much! ;) I dance randomly through my life...sometimes I have witnesses but usually it's just me and God.
One story my hubby often reminds me of from when we were dating is a time when he drove past the drive thru window and I was dancing. No music on or anything to speak of, just dancing to my own song. I think that sums me up pretty well. The best part of that short story is that it was a miserable place to work, but I had a blast there. It was fast food and I smelled like oil every day that I went home. But I went to work six days a week, usually for 10 hours a day and looked for joy. I looked for God to show up in the best ways. Birds taking a bath in a puddle made me feel alive, it was awesome. That foundation of finding joy in chaos made me feel unique as a person, kinda special. I love life and when I find people to share life with it's awesome.
What makes my soul sing today is knowing that God has been with me every moment of my life and that He always delivers big when I ask for help. When I reached a maddening breaking point after being at the fast food restaurant for eight years, he gave me a job running a coffeeshop. Ya wanna know how it happened? One of my assistant managers was dealing drugs in my men's room. Yep, talk about a bad work enviornment. When I caught wind of it, I let my area supervisor know and assumed she'd want me to terminate him. Makes sense, right? Only to a large company in this case. Because she had no replacement for me she let me make the decision. Ya know, keep him or let him go and return to working 80 hours a week. Of course I let him go, did I mention he was a friend of mine? It sucked. During this time I could see no light at the end of the tunnel, my joy was temporarily hazy. Suddenly I detested my job, an emotion I was very uncomfortable with. I had interviewed months earlier for an assistant managers position for a company I was working for part time, but had been told I was overqualified. I had been heartbroken, it was unlikely that the same company that said I was overqualified was going to give me a store since I was working one shift per week at that point. Regretfully I knew what was going to happen in the short term and I had to give up my part time job. I couldn't even make time to put in a four hour shift at my dream job... so sad. Anyway, I prayed. Praying isn't really what I was doing, it was more like begging God for a way out of my current situation. I quit my job and a couple days later I got a call to please come in for an exit interview. It was very relaxed and I talked about how regretful I was to leave the store. He (his name is Bob) called me a couple days later to set up another interview. I explained the only free time I had was at 7am. 7am. So because God was using this man (it's the only reason I can come up with, really) Bob set up our interview at 7am on a Friday morning. Not only was I hired as a Store Manager, but I was the only one he interviewed. I had the joy of working for that company for a total of eight years and experienced a lot of personal growth there. As well as a lot of joy. :) I was already a beliver and knew that God would help me, but it was the first of many times in my life when He directly answered a prayer for *me*. A prayer that I begged for when I was alone in my apartment and didn't have to have my game face on.
I've been in my new city for four months. I begged God for a change in my life back in February. I was having a hard time, but didn't want to admit it to anyone. Not even my husband. Like the time He pulled me out of the fast food restaurant, he removed me just as swiftly and cleanly from one life and inserted me into this one. In my new city, I've struggled with the adjustment but didn't see it. I assume it's to be expected, but truthfully, I didn't know I was struggling until recently. How did I finally see it? I danced in the street the other night and it struck me that I've not expressed that personal joy in months. I'm so glad to see me again!
His agape love leaves me breathless.
One story my hubby often reminds me of from when we were dating is a time when he drove past the drive thru window and I was dancing. No music on or anything to speak of, just dancing to my own song. I think that sums me up pretty well. The best part of that short story is that it was a miserable place to work, but I had a blast there. It was fast food and I smelled like oil every day that I went home. But I went to work six days a week, usually for 10 hours a day and looked for joy. I looked for God to show up in the best ways. Birds taking a bath in a puddle made me feel alive, it was awesome. That foundation of finding joy in chaos made me feel unique as a person, kinda special. I love life and when I find people to share life with it's awesome.
What makes my soul sing today is knowing that God has been with me every moment of my life and that He always delivers big when I ask for help. When I reached a maddening breaking point after being at the fast food restaurant for eight years, he gave me a job running a coffeeshop. Ya wanna know how it happened? One of my assistant managers was dealing drugs in my men's room. Yep, talk about a bad work enviornment. When I caught wind of it, I let my area supervisor know and assumed she'd want me to terminate him. Makes sense, right? Only to a large company in this case. Because she had no replacement for me she let me make the decision. Ya know, keep him or let him go and return to working 80 hours a week. Of course I let him go, did I mention he was a friend of mine? It sucked. During this time I could see no light at the end of the tunnel, my joy was temporarily hazy. Suddenly I detested my job, an emotion I was very uncomfortable with. I had interviewed months earlier for an assistant managers position for a company I was working for part time, but had been told I was overqualified. I had been heartbroken, it was unlikely that the same company that said I was overqualified was going to give me a store since I was working one shift per week at that point. Regretfully I knew what was going to happen in the short term and I had to give up my part time job. I couldn't even make time to put in a four hour shift at my dream job... so sad. Anyway, I prayed. Praying isn't really what I was doing, it was more like begging God for a way out of my current situation. I quit my job and a couple days later I got a call to please come in for an exit interview. It was very relaxed and I talked about how regretful I was to leave the store. He (his name is Bob) called me a couple days later to set up another interview. I explained the only free time I had was at 7am. 7am. So because God was using this man (it's the only reason I can come up with, really) Bob set up our interview at 7am on a Friday morning. Not only was I hired as a Store Manager, but I was the only one he interviewed. I had the joy of working for that company for a total of eight years and experienced a lot of personal growth there. As well as a lot of joy. :) I was already a beliver and knew that God would help me, but it was the first of many times in my life when He directly answered a prayer for *me*. A prayer that I begged for when I was alone in my apartment and didn't have to have my game face on.
I've been in my new city for four months. I begged God for a change in my life back in February. I was having a hard time, but didn't want to admit it to anyone. Not even my husband. Like the time He pulled me out of the fast food restaurant, he removed me just as swiftly and cleanly from one life and inserted me into this one. In my new city, I've struggled with the adjustment but didn't see it. I assume it's to be expected, but truthfully, I didn't know I was struggling until recently. How did I finally see it? I danced in the street the other night and it struck me that I've not expressed that personal joy in months. I'm so glad to see me again!
His agape love leaves me breathless.
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