God's Way

I have had the priveledge and honor of seeing God move in ways I didn't agree with and have been blessed to watch him build beauty from ashes.  It's changed the way I pray and my relationship with God. 

My father passed away suddenly when I was 20 years old.  I was then ditched by my high school sweetheart of 6 years a couple months later.  I recall that time as being heart wrenching.  I knew in my soul that God was going to work it out for my good, I had that strong a faith.  But it hurt.

When I was 25 years old a cherished girlfriend of mine who was 28 passed away.  She left behind a loved husband, and three very young children.  It never entered my realm of possibility that she would die from ovarian cancer.  It was discovered when she was pregnant with her third child. She and I had a strong friendship when I was a teenager and in many ways she guided me into adulthood.  She got married and was blessed with a very busy family and I wasn't there, yet.  Her priorities changed and I wasn't one of them anymore. I didn't understand the life change that children are and I felt rejected and hurt.  I wish I'd handled it better, but I was young and very self absorbed.  When she passed away it was awful.  Awwwwful.  I was in Las Vegas with my soon to be husband.  God revealed to me the moment she was passing by placing a memory based slide show before my eyes of she and I.  Everything from when I met her (she scared me) to my good bye with her at her home before I left for the airport.  I was so very humbled that He knew my love for her that He allowed me to know she was with Him.  It still hurt. 

Had my father not passed away, my life would be drastically different.  I was on a different path and his passing changed it for the better.  I came to rely on Christ as my real father and the love of my life and soul.  He became real to me, not just God that I'd always admired.  The former boyfriend it turned out wasn't my life afterall, with time healing and forgiveness happened. The girlfriend passing was tougher.  She had children and I couldn't see how taking her was going to be used for His will and purpose.  I was grieving.  Here we are nearly ten years later and I can say God's ways are better than ours.  Jeremiah would be proud.  Her widower has remarried and been blessed with a wife and they have two more children together.  Their family blesses mine daily...especially because his wife has become a very dear friend to me. 

How has it changed my prayer life?  I can say with ease that when I pray for people, it's for God's will to be done and for us to learn whatever we are supposed to learn quickly during the situation.  God is always God and I'm grateful that He is mine.  Is He yours?  He can be.