I have many drafts saved from over the summer but none were finished to post.  So it's not that I've been avoiding you dear blog, perhaps just the emotions the bubble up as I begin to write.  My heart is aching.  Last month we began the process of returning to our family home that we left in 2010 for Steve's career opportunity in Maryland.  There are so many emotions wrapped up in that one statement.  I remember the conflicting feelings I felt as we were discussing moving, then meeting with packing companies and finally saying our 'goodbyes' to lifelong friends and family to go on a family adventure.  Over the summer I was able to kinda stuff all of my emotions into a pit within myself that I didn't know I had. What's bringing on this heartache?  Unpacking.  I hit a brick wall yesterday and just stared at my boxes and paper.  The memories of what I was experiencing when certain boxes were packed are brutal.  No one knows what that was like for me except my Lord.  I shared pieces of it with a few cherished girlfriends that God put in my life to hold my hand and at times, my heart.

It would be too easy for me to return to my house and put everything back exactly where it was.  I've been through too much to put everything back in its former place.  Can you relate to that?  I don't want to put my pictures on the same walls, even in the same rooms.  I've already changed a few things around and really like the way the house is coming together.  I wonder if God feels the same way about this girl.  I'm the same person, but a lot of change has taken place.  God is the ultimate redecorator, but I think He calls it growth.