Black Ice

There was a time when I would scream from the rooftops how much I adored my sweet Lord.  I would publicly give praise for all the wonderful things He was doing in my life.  Did I need witnesses to my walk?  Was it youth?  Passion?  I'm not sure.  But for years I acted like a new bride, eager to tell everyone about my beloved and how wonderful He was.  I think it's safe to say that I felt like God's favorite princess, though honestly I still feel like we all could feel that way at any given moment. ;) I felt I could encourage anyone and really felt like it was a gift God gave me to any person who was hurting, it was incredible.  Then while on my walk with God I hit some black ice.  I was badly bruised and hurting and could not hear anyone try to encourage me.  Because of my foundation of praise and worship, I still praised my Lord. My praises became quieter almost hushed, like an intimate conversation that I didn't want anyone else to hear.  My worship was intense because only He knew what was happening within me.  I would still scream my love to my Lord, but my walk became deeply personal.  I don't share too much of my walk these days.  I get that some of my experiences with the Holy Spirit are meant only for Him.

I feel like I've seen the other side of a bliss filled life and I can now see how Christians can hurt deeply.  We can be absolutely in love with our Lord and still experience soul piercing loss.  I have a friend who is close to my heart and she is hurting today.  She just found out her father has 6-9 months to live.  This same friend said difficult goodbyes to people she treasures recently.  She will not see them again until our Father calls her home. And now she faces losing her earthly dad and she is questioning her Father in heaven.  The good news is that He already has her in His mighty hand and He can take whatever she gives Him. 

So in closing, if you find yourself looking for someone to laugh with, I'm your girl.  There are few things I love more than a great belly laugh!  But if you find yourself in pain or mourning a loss; be it a person to heaven, a relationship, a job or a dream, I can listen with compassion and understanding that wasn't there before.  God is good and really does use all things for His glory.  Oh I am still smitten with my beloved, but it is built on a foundation that has been torn down and rebuilt.  I am a new creation and the great news is, so are you.