Flesh wound

My relationship with Christ has been strained in the past couple years.  I've written about it here and prayed about it for such a long time.  God never changes, right?  So I knew it was me who was the guilty party in our relationship.  I even told a girlfriend that I was considering going to a counselor but what I really needed was the equivalent of a marriage counselor for my relationship with Christ.  They don't really have those around, ya know?  While I was talking with her I began to sob.  Ya see, God had brought a person across my path that week who was concerned about why I hadn't been worshiping in church on Sunday mornings.  I got upset and felt like it was none of her business though I didn't tell this senior saint any such thing.  Promise.  But God used her because I was griping about this chic to anyone who stood still, calling her a meddler and everything.  Then it was rising to the surface, suddenly I began to feel like a zit that was about to explode.  And you know honestly?, they can be messy.  So here it came.  I was a mess.  I talked about how angry and frustrated I was getting with myself because I couldn't seem to move on from that time in my life.  And it was debilitating to me.  This girlfriend by God's sweet grace just listened and let me talk.  It was so helpful to me.  I talked about how confused I was about the house we'd purchased because the decision had been bathed in prayer.  I shared about our finances and how we'd saved all this money only to lose it plus so much more between the buying process and then the sale one year later.  She began to talk about how maybe, just maybe, God wanted us to have the experience of the house.  And maybe He wanted us to walk that path to allow us to go through growth and subsequent changes of heart regarding many things.  I heard her, I heard God talking through her and I knew she was right.  Too many wonderful things came out of that season for me to be angry or bitter any longer.  I could see beauty from ashes and could feel God's love and forgiveness for my withdrawing from Him.  But the sweetest things from that day were God showing me a picture of a large Valentine's type heart and there was the wee little splinter in the upper right side on the surface of the heart...like I could take tweezers and pull it away.  It wasn't a deep wound, it was right on the surface, oh how that blesses me still.  And the second thing was that I could not wait to get back to church on Sunday morning.  Couldn't wait to worship with the body of Christ my Lord and Savior who had ransomed Himself for my many sins.  The weight of His sacrifice was new to me again and I give thanks and gratitude to my Lord for putting up with me, for being my Savior and for loving me like no one else ever can.