Two years ago Steve and I had the joy of traveling to Costa Rica with another couple that is sugar to our souls. We had a wonderful time and enjoy reliving the trip to this day with countless conversations that begin with a simple 'Remember when...'. I could recount a few of those hilarious stories, but you may not find them nearly as hilarious as we do. I missed my children a bit the first few days, but truly I was happy to spend time alone with Steve. The smells were so fragrant, it was like heaven's perfume. All the colors were bright, the Bird of Paradise flower? Incredible. Just incredible. Even the barbed wire fences supported by tree limbs I found to be beautiful in their rustic simplicity. I was even chased by a fierce bull on the beach, and chicken another time. Okay, I really wasn't chased but it rationalizes my frozen panic when I say I was chased even if they only walked by.
A couple years ago this month I had a dream. It was a dream that defined my life, have you had one of those? I tend to be a prophetic dreamer, it's a gift that God has given to this child and I've always been appreciative of it. In this dream, Steve and I were on vacation up north, near water. I felt like it was the Great Lakes, but not quite as chilly as I'd think it to be. Coolness aside, it was absolutely dreamy!! I felt like I was in Costa Rica, the energy was so clean and relaxed, I can only describe it as a vacation mindset. The dream carried on for some time and it was blissful, bold colors, warm skies and a lot of joy between Steve and I. Then we were atop a mountain, just Steve and I and our car suddenly begins bouncing and leaps off the cliffside. It was wild! No one was physically hurt, and Steve and I began laughing, I mean belly laughing, at the absurdity of the situation. We went to the car insurance office where we were suddenly foreigners and knew not a person there. Still laughing at what had happened, everyone in the office looked at us like we were crazy. All of them were somber at what had happened and then I found out that my sister had been imprisoned in Virginia because of our car going off the cliff. Now I was feeling very sober and headed down to see if I could help Stephanie by explaining to the judge what had happened and that she wasn't at all liable for our mistake. By the time I'd gotten down there I found out that her bail had been posted by Bob, Steve's boss. Crazy stuff, but anyway, that's what happened. She'd been freed on bail and I returned to the north. That was what I woke up to. What I know now what that the dream was a word of knowledge and not necessarily a positive one. That dream was the catalyst that moved us to Maryland. Steve was given the offer of the job in Glen Burnie and I'd had that dream about three weeks before. I didn't see the connection until a few days after we began discussing the offer in earnest. I will say that the dream was spot on about so much. What haunted me about the dream, even while we were in Maryland, was that it didn't end well. I really wanted clarity and begged my Lord that the car wouldn't represent itself in real life as it had in the dream. Because who on earth wants to welcome a car going off the cliff and no one else feeling the same way about it as we did? Not this girl. I shared this dream with a few trusted people in my life, my mom, sisters and a girlfriend. They never forgot the dream, either.
When it became apparent that Steve's office was going to close and he was getting pushed under the bus by his boss, I was frightened that the job was the 'car' that I'd not wanted to see. So I finally researched my dream of 18 months prior and found that a car going off a cliff represents a career ending. Oh, at that moment how I wished I'd known that little bit of information before moving up I95. You know though I've gotta admit here that my biggest fear, as a stay at home mom, was Steve losing his job. When he got that 1/3 pay cut my world was rocked, it was wobbling and my husband was sickened. He lost his confidence at work and became a different man, one that was sad and cornered. I felt awful for him, more because he was still loyal to this company that was turning his back on him. He didn't want to interview anywhere because he didn't want it to look bad for his company that the head of that branch was looking elsewhere for employment. I learned so much about my husband's character and integrity. I came to respect him as a husband, father, provider and man so much more than I'd ever given thought to before this chapter in our lives.
May I say what God did for us through His matchless grace? He provided a way out for us that no human being could've done. I've mentioned before about the support He granted us and me, but it was huge. I was so afraid of the bills not being paid, but may I share that during that time not one was even late? Only my God knew the tiniest details of my heart and balmed them effortlessly. Our home group was our crutch for survival. I longed for Thursday nights so I could just be a part of a group of believers and feel normal for a couple hours. I loved seeing how God was working amongst our group and being faithful to the needs of our members. One couple had struggled with infertility and God gave me the ability to join this group to pray with fevor for this couple who is now pregnant with twins. The ability to pray for others needs while going through my own trial blessed my soul.
Costa Rica in my natural life represents wonderful memories of horses that pass gas and urinate in unison, ziplining over valleys and feeding a stray cougar (or housecat, whichever you prefer) and of course, lots of belly laughing. Costa Rica in my spiritual life is a much richer and deeper place of growth in trust and receiving grace from my Lord. Both are spectacular and offer life long memories for my soul but only one changed my life forever. And I am filled with gratitude again for my heavenly Father. He is my Love and I am so thankful for Him and His love for me.
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